If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

 Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

 If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

 If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

 When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

 If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

 Why is the word abbreviation so long?

 If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

 Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

 What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

 Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

 Is it possible to be totally partial?

 What's another word for thesaurus?

 When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? -Steve Wright

 More Stupid Questions from Brain Candy: http://members.aol.com/WordPlays/stupid.html

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

 * The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.

 *Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

(So, they have ten times more to hate. Just kidding, I'm a dog person. Funny bumper sticker: I Love Cats...they taste just like chicken. --ss)

 * Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. (I wonder how much longer Ross Perot will live....--ss)

 *David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.

 * Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.

 * In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

 * Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

 * February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

 Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds. (Rule this out for the next Clinton campaign stop. --ss)

 *The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.  (That's a lot of $2000 toilet seats! --ss)

 * No word in the English language rhymes with month.

 * The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

 * There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

 * Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

 *Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church. (So why did Jesse Jackson called New York "hymie-town?" --ss)

 * Cat's urine glows under a black light. (Didn't everyone know that? --ss)

 * Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.

 * The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

 * Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

 * It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.

 * In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

 * Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

 *The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

 *Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. (This is handy to know! --SS)

 * If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

 The most common name in the world is Mohammed. (Mohammed Smith is a friend of mine! --ss)

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

 * No NFL team which plays it's home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Super Bowl.

 *The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver". (I'll never forget that episode. --ss)

 * In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured. (Do you think they checked the hospital ER records on that? --ss)

 * Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.

 *One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers --they saw it as competition. It is not chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

(The Movie "Devil's Weed" took care of hemp, modern anti-smoking nazis have tobacco on the ropes. Fine. I don't smoke. Alcohol is next on the hit-list along with fatty foods. I draw the line with butter, hamburgers and coffee! They can have my coffee and beef when they pry it from my cold, dead, fat-slicked fingers. --SS)

 * The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

 * Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan" (Then the name "Frosty" was made up for customers at Wendy's. --ss)

*Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

*Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

*It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

*It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

*If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

*Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

*If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

*The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it it back in your pocket.

*A closed mouth gathers no foot.

*Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

*There are two theories to arguing with women; neither one works.

*Never miss a good chance to shut up.

*Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

A full set of teeth.

"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be." -----Thomas Jefferson